Planet Grok

Where intuition reigns supreme

Tiger Woods, A Beta Among Alphas

Posted by PlanetGrok on April 5, 2010

One picture says a thousand words:

Jordan – cigar chomping alpha with swagger, hat sloppily backwards, not giving a shit.

Woods – slumping beta with perfectly worn hat trying to escape his Asian betatude by hanging out with black NBA stars and sleeping with lots of women like they do.

Tiger probably gets his betaness from his Asian side, the side that gave him his other mental traits, such as good golf-playing ability.  Unfortunately it also makes him much like a nerdy Asian beta. An Asian beta with a tan and money, but an Asian beta nonetheless. If Woods had no golf-playing ability, he would probably lead a life much like David Alexander’s. He knows he is beta, so he tries to compensate by hanging around alphas like Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley.

Tiger’s innate betaness is revealed not only by his slouch, and his pensive, nasal speech, but his text messages to his mistresses. In this exchange, he constantly worries about whether one of his hoes is seeing sleeping with someone else (of course she is!):

Tiger: alone with him that is

Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toy

Tiger: do you have a boy friend

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Jesus Christ, Tiger, stop giving a shit!

This part was funny:

Jaimee: very true … I only watch football

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

I don’t believe that either, Tiger, but your insecurities are showing. Call Jordan up again and have him tell you that you really are black. It will make you feel better. Or learn yo’self some HBD so you can take pride in your Asian side.

I think Tiger got burnt by his mistresses because he gave off too many beta-provider vibes. He told them he cared about them, and he acted jealous. Michael Jordan sure hasn’t had hordes of his mistresses and flings come forward to sell their text messages. This is because he is a natural alpha and they all know he doesn’t give a shit about them.


35 Responses to “Tiger Woods, A Beta Among Alphas”

  1. We need more black betas and less black alphas!

    • ShutUpOrNutUp said

      Then David, go out and breed. Have lots of beta children, since world would be better off with more people like you, David. Love you dude.

      • I am an omega, and my IQ is not high enough to warrant breeding…

      • Tarl said

        I am an omega, and my IQ is not high enough to warrant breeding…

        David, you are able to compose complete, correct sentences that express coherent thoughts, and thus your IQ is most definitely high enough to warrant breeding (higher, indeed, than that of a great many whites who cannot do so).

        So knock it off! Get out there and breed, already, and quit making excuses!

  2. Vincent Ignatius said

    I’ve always said that Tiger is a beta that stumbled ass backwards into alphadom due to the sport of golf valuing abilities that would never have made a man alpha 10,000 years ago.

  3. The Undiscovered Jew said

    Come on. Give Tiger a break. He’s being photographed next to friggin’ Michael Jordan. Even Attila the Hun would look “beta” compared to MJ.

  4. OneSTDV said

    Is Jordan the highest alpha of the modern age?

    I can’t think of anyone coming even close.

    • He’s certainly up there, along with Dubya.

      • OneSTDV said

        Really? Dubya? Just due to the power? An alpha isn’t solely due to status within society.

        I’d still say Jordan is ahead of him.

      • Dubya had his strings pulled like every other US president, but he has a published reputation of being an arrogant alpha bully as far back as high school. You never noticed Bush’s cocky attitude? His shit-eating grin? His habit of giving peers demeaning nicknames? The way he made super-career-butch Condi Rice weak in the knees (according to her friends)?

        The guy was definitely alpha. Not too bright, or competent, but alpha.

  5. Phoenixism said

    So much talk of a Beta out of water and thrust into an Alpha role he is unable to handle.

    I’m interested in the flipside of that.

    The Alpha male out of water and thrust into a Beta role. That must be painful to witness. Ultimately it must involve marriage, I can think of no other reason.

    If they lived long enough to enjoy it, some of those Mexican drug cartel kingpins could vie for Highest Alpha honors, I guess.

    Or anyone with the power to single-handed destroy the world as we know it is certainly Alpha in my book.

    • ShutUpOrNutUp said

      Actually I have meet many Alphas in low status positions. They usually handle it pretty well. Alphas are still alphas even if they do not get any pussy or money. Usually they become very comic or stoic in their attitudes toward life.

      • Phoenixism said

        They handle it well because peace of mind is a hallmark “Alpha” trait.
        Muscles, tattoos, a Harley, multiple real estate holdings, sure…but peace of mind will be found in the Alpha inventory more often than these items.

  6. Chuck said

    the tell-tale sign if that tiger’s hoes betrayed him – which is an uncommon occurence. they should know that betraying him meant that they’d never see him again. if they valued seeing him so much they would be loyal to the end.

    but this is what happens when you have to resort to beta promises to lure women into your snare. once it becomes obvious that those promises were empty, loyalty flies out the window.

    are we to believe that there isn’t one married celebrity out there who hasn’t fucked 14 other women? i’ve always assumed that every celebrity has done this and then some.

    the differentiation between tiger and the others is that tiger was so giddy with excitement to be texting these women all the time that he finally got caught because of his phone. a true alpha texts the woman only when appropriate and is focused on other things when his women aren’t immediately accessible. none of this “wishing you were here” BS that ended up getting him caught.

  7. OneSTDV said

    @ PG:

    Gotcha on W. I see what you’re saying. He has the epitome of a “shit-eating” grin.

  8. SINCE WHEN DOES ASIAN=BETA? I’m angered at this stereotypical implication.

    OK, perhaps you are right, in general, Asians trend beta, something I will write about in the future, along with size.

    Jordan is quite the badass.

    • ShutUpOrNutUp said

      Mao Zedong was not beta. Most of the Japanese Samurai were not beta. The North Koreans are definitely not beta. In my opinion, some of the most Alpha people in the world right now, are Asians. Dude, Asians are awesome.

    • Most Americans have only dealt with Asian immigrants self-selected for their betaness.

  9. OneSTDV said


    You’re getting lazy or just busy?

  10. […] PlanetGrok – “Tiger Woods, A Beta Among Alphas” […]

  11. Sagat said

    Everyone loves to watch a star fall from grace, but Tiger Woods has only been attacked because he was married. If he was a single man then would anyone give a shit that he was banging over a dozen women? Tiger took advantage of what opportunity gave him. Turning down pussy is beta behavior. All the girls that he plowed where at least above a 7. Many would consider Bill Clinton an alpha, but he got caught cheating on his frigid lesbian wife with a porker and he wasn’t even man enough to blow his load in Lewinski’s mouth. You tell me who’s more alpha?

  12. OneSTDV said

    Has this blog already died?

    Damn it showed a lot of promise.

  13. Gil said

    Yeah, D. Alexander, you’re not an Omega you’re a Beta, get over it.

  14. Camlost said

    Michael Jordan has been wearing a t-shirt with dress pants for ages, we used to laugh about it back in the mid 80’s when no one outside of North Carolina knew who he was…

  15. Camlost said

    update this damn blog man, wtf

  16. M Schwartz said

    This blog started brilliantly. Come on PG, give us some more.

  17. Sams said

    This post is hilarious, with a wonderful photo to start it off. I’m compiling a list of HBD-o-sphere blog postings to show to a friend as an intro to HBD and this is going in it.

  18. […] Tiger Woods, A Beta Among Alphas April 5th, 2010 — “One picture says a thousand words: Jordan – cigar chomping alpha with swagger, hat sloppily backwards, not giving a shit. Woods – slumping beta with perfectly worn hat trying to escape his Asian betatude by hanging out with black NBA stars and sleeping with lots of women like they do. Tiger probably gets his betaness […]” 33 Comments […]

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