On Harem-building
Posted by PlanetGrok on February 22, 2010
Obsidian’s recent post criticizing Roissy’s Valentine’s Day advocacy of Multiple Long Term Relationships -a true harem- brought to mind experience I’ve had doing just that.
I didn’t even have to lie, as Roissy encourages.
All you have to do is establish relationships with married/involved women. It is easier to do this than build an elaborate mountain of lies to keep girlfriends with too much time on their hands from finding out about each other, and it forces the females do the lying for you. I’ve discovered that married women are most vulnerable several months after the birth of a child, or any time in the first 3 years of life of their second child. It is at these times that they are frustrated by their husband’s withdrawal, and fantasize about either moving up to a better provider beta or getting out of the house for once to have some fun.
Working moms are very vulnerable to affairs, but if you are not confident enough to hit on these women publicly, there’s always Ashley Madison.
A key benefit of boinking married chicks is that you, the shrewd gamer, can replicate your genetic potential with significantly reduced risk of having to fork out child support. The cuckolded beta will take the hit.
The downside is that husbands can get downright nasty if you get caught. I had to change my number and ante up my moving date because of threats from one. But even in these cases, the shamed wife will get the brunt of the anger. Just don’t deliberately inflame the situation, and you’ll be fine. Tell the guy to read up on his Roissy. He’ll thank you in a couple months.
I also do not think this would work well for men who are below-average in looks. You want to at least look better than the other guy.
Planet Grok 
One Moniker said
I was once in a long-distance relationship with someone and I knew instinctively that he wanted to at least try seeing other women while we were apart, or at least feel open and non-guilty about liking a woman if he had met one. So I suggested that since we are states apart and only see each other every 7 weeks or so, that we make our relationship “polyamorous”. I mean my goodness, it wasn’t like we were engaged or anything.
He was dead set against that idea.
I’ve no idea why.
Any clues?
PlanetGrok said
It’s all about jealousy.
One of those natural double standards ingrained in our human psyche is for men to want to “own” the women they sleep with, while not wanting their women to have the same sexual freedom. Even true alphas who appear not to give a shit often feel a twinge of jealousy when they think of their woman getting boinked by someone else. (Their defense to this embarrassing emotion is to hurl slurs at the female in question.)
If the man in question was just a normal hapless beta without many options, then he likely spent his time developing one-itis over you, and genuinely wanted to be monogamous with you (until he tired of you).
You are Desi, are you not?
I have theorized that Indian women have evolved a more sophisticated alpha-radar through the thousands of years spent in the caste system and arranged marriages. Fully americanized (like 3rd gen) indian women seem to only date natural alpha males, from my vantage point anyway.
Jamila said
In a true harem, women actually know they are in a harem. So I can’t see a man calling himself having a harem, in the true sense of the word, in the absence of complete honesty.
PlanetGrok said
I think you’re nitpicking the semantics. A harem from the modern man’s point of view is merely having multiple longer-term sexual partners. I would agree that a “truer” harem would involve the women knowingly sharing the man, but that doesn’t exist in our society except in the rare cases of cults or pimps, and I think that no one reading this blog wants to be one of those weirdoes.
Married/involved women who will sleep with another man rarely probe about other women he may or may not be seeing, in my experience. They just want their fantasy escape from reality for a night or two per week.
One Moniker, Many Loves said
Back in the more traditional 1950s when dating became a widespread norm, parents preferred that their high-school or college aged daughters dated a few or several boys at the same time. The rationale back then was that this would lesson the chances of premarital sex and unwanted pregnancy. If a girl “went steady” with one boy, the parents worried that she was getting “serious”.
From the girls point of view: how could one boy satisfy all her interests anyway?
Take a girl who likes tennis, plays the guitar and also writes poetry. Hard to find a guitar playing, tennis buff, poet all in one guy. So dating different boys fulfills different parts of her.
That type of old school dating has been unfortunately lost in today’s America and girls and women are more likely to get “stuck” on one guy at a time.
I’ve dated several guys at once and it’s very fun. You enjoy the company of each one thoroughly when you are with them and it becomes hard to make a choice, because each man is so unique and offers something so different that you can’t imagine giving up one for the other(s).
I didn’t even like one more than the others. They were all very different but I had the same amount of affection for each one.
Regarding Desi womens’ Alpha radars – I don’t think so. The arranged marriage market is more about “settling” than it is about chasing Alpha or even being on the look-out for Alpha. The arranged marriage system is all about bare bones practicality, not gina tingles.
PlanetGrok said
But for the bulk of human history, hasn’t being Alpha been correlated with economic success? Business class Indians like the Patels seem to exude a more alpha vibe than those from the lower castes.
The old-school dating method you describe sounds like a fast way to get a reputation nowadays.
One Moniker I Prefer The Hyatt said
Back in the old-school dating days, the reputation was gotten if you “got serious” with just one guy. It was seen as being a more likely situation for getting pregnant. But those were the days when dating meant going to “dances” and drive-in movies….. not “hooking up”.
Patels – alpha????
Are you kidding me? Good Lord!
It’s very difficult for ANY desi man to be “alpha” in the sense that we know it. Desi culture is obsessively family oriented and every man is controlled by his mother to the extent of being in love with her. No joke.
The umbilical cord never gets cut — EVER.
And in India, the business classes have a reputation as being somewhat “dum” and anti-intellectual.
Also, people marry within their same caste, so women don’t really exercise hypergamy in the caste department. They are marrying their equals.
Have you ever check into a Patel Motel on the high-ways and bi-ways of America? Good Lord!
PlanetGrok said
I’m not talking about those Patels, the motel or 7 11 people. I’m talking about the upper middle class ones. They’re dicks, especailly the men, they look down on white people and fancy themselves too good to bother with you. Just my experience. I’m sure you’re more versed in the intricacies of caste interaction more than I ever will be.
Most other Indians I’ve met also seem to hate the Patels, so I assumed they were resentful of success.
BTW, thanks for keeping the “One Moniker” portion of your handle stable now.
Lady Raine said
This is a really sad and pathetic post. There isn’t an educated, attractive, or mentally stable woman in the world who allows a man to date/marry/be with her and other women at the same time.
Are you talking about paying hookers to “pretend”? I think otherwise we all know you’re lying.
And you should also change your blog theme because I have the same one and I really don’t want to be associated with someone who consistently posts such uneducated, delusional nonsense.
Don’t you gentlemen who post this ridiculous stuff and PUA junk realize that NO ONE BELIEVES YOU?
What war-pigs are you referring to in your “Harem” because those are the only women you’d be getting.
LOL….wealthy and attractive men go and find wealthy and attractive women.
Ugly, mentally unstable, losers sit on the internet and pretend to have a “harem” of women or even know what a woman looks like or smells like.
Let’s face it dude, you’ve never even MET a woman have you?
PlanetGrok said
“There isn’t an educated, attractive, or mentally stable woman in the world who allows a man to date/marry/be with her and other women at the same time.”
I didn’t say that. I said I went through a period where I had a few chicks who were with someone else, and that they didn’t probe, so I didn’t have to lie. These women are out there. Sign up for Ashley Madison and take a look around.
I’m going to change my theme soon, don’t worry.
You also don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. I really don’t give a shit, I’m not out to prove anything. If someone told me you were an ex-stripper, psycho-stalker, and lumpen white trash, Nazi-sympathizing criminal, I wouldn’t believe them either, because you exude such sophistication and class.
PlanetGrok said
I also do not claim to be a “PUA”, I just find much of their material very true, especially the alpha/beta dichotomy. When I have acted Alpha, I have had success. When I’ve acted like an average beta, I’ve been met with hard times. If you think PUA meterial is such junk, then why are you so mad at Roissy? Didn’t you come to his site and start attacking him for doing what he does to womyn?
Your partner in activism, Denise Romano, doesn’t even think it is junk, she knows it works, and that is why she is building her little movement.
And, FTR, I am skeptical of some of the more extreme claims of PUA’s. If you notice, I criticize Mystery and Style just a post or two back.
Lady Raine said
You also don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. I really don’t give a shit, I’m not out to prove anything. If someone told me you were an ex-stripper, psycho-stalker, and lumpen white trash, Nazi-sympathizing criminal, I wouldn’t believe them either, because you exude such sophistication and class.
I didn’t “believe” anything anyone “said” about you, because I’ve never heard of you and have no idea what you do and don’t “believe” except for the words you type.
I’m glad that you managed to get ALL the gossip about me that doesn’t have the slightest truth to it. Other than Nazi-Sympathizing because there is no reason why the common German Soldier should be considered “evil” or “criminal” for doing that which they had NO CHOICE but to do or be killed. The only “Nazi-Criminals” were the Higher Officers and Leaders. THOSE people are criminals to be prosecuted. The common Nazi soldier is no different than any other man or woman on earth who is trying to protect their family from certain death.
I don’t see any shame in being intelligent enough to comprehend that they were ruled by a “Dictator” and had no more choice in the matter than the Jews did.
Educate yourself.
Also, I come from a wealthy family and have an extensive education…last I checked that’s not synonymous with “white trash”.
Wow, an ex stripper? OMG HOW SHAMEFUL that I was smart enough to fill in for a whole 8 months of my life with an extremely high paying and LEGAL job that’s no different than being a bartender or a server is.
If men are stupid enough to hand a stripper $45 per song to watch me dance….I’m smart enough to take it graciously.
Racist? Yeah right. If by “racist” you mean that I’m not ashamed of being White and German and don’t think that White People owe anyone anything at all is “racist” then yeah sure….call me racist.
I also do not claim to be a “PUA”, I just find much of their material very true, especially the alpha/beta dichotomy. When I have acted Alpha, I have had success. When I’ve acted like an average beta, I’ve been met with hard times.
That makes you look worse. You ARE aware that the PUA version of the meaning of “Alpha” and “Beta” are the complete OPPOSITES of the actual meaning of the words and are also the OPPOSITE of the Scientific and Anthropological meaning of the words?
An “Alpha” male in humans OR the animal kingdom is NEVER described as “Having no offspring, no provider status, and no protector status”.
Alpha means “leader” in both males and females and also in the Animal Kingdom.
The men who are bachelors, childless, single, and don’t have families they are caring for are “Beta” in every way by Scientific meaning. They have to take the leftovers and scraps from the “Alphas” who are managing to marry women, have offspring, and be a leader and provider for their family.
The PUA’s are lazy and don’t WANT to do any of those things so they felt free to give “Alpha” a totally new and completely incorrect and backward meaning of the word.
You really should look to Science, Fact, and Anthropology for your facts on “Alpha” and “Beta” because you’ll find that those are the exact OPPOSITE of what PUA’s want to believe and want others to believe.
They are Darwinian Failures and Evolutionary Failures and thus they CANNOT be “Alpha” by that alone.
If you think PUA meterial is such junk, then why are you so mad at Roissy? Didn’t you come to his site and start attacking him for doing what he does to womyn?
I’m sorry but what is “womyn”? I’m not familiar with that.
Um, I think its obvious what any normal human being’s “problem with Roissy” is. He is a pedophile and promotes hitting women, raping women, and having sex with underage girls as young as 12 years old (in his own words).
We call those people CRIMINALS here in the United States. In case you weren’t aware, he removed over 100 posts that promoted beating women and molesting children under age 18.
Him being a PUA is the LEAST of my problems with him and his mentally unstable followers.
Please tell me what part of his post “Hitting a Woman Turns Her On” where he describes how to “hit her and get her to NOT call the police” is something that most normal humans shrug and say “sure, that’s normal”.
As for me personally, I dared to comment at his site and he slandered, lied, and made up stories about me, tried to pass off a porno video as being me, and posted my 5 year old son’s photo on an X RATED ADULT SEX SITE that he got access to by stalking me for months….and STILL stalking me NOW.
He’s a sicko and that’s where my problem with HIM personally is.
Your partner in activism, Denise Romano, doesn’t even think it is junk, she knows it works, and that is why she is building her little movement.
And, FTR, I am skeptical of some of the more extreme claims of PUA’s. If you notice, I criticize Mystery and Style just a post or two back.
If Denise saw that she’d lose her mind because she and I BOTH have stated over and over and OVER again that we KNOW IT WORKS. That is NOT the argument.
The argument is that they are using BRAINWASHING and HYPNOSIS to get women to consent to sex. That is illegal and is “consent under duress” and any man who uses it could and should be charged with attempted sexual assault or sexual assault.
It’s very simple and the Law recognizes “Fraud” as a crime. It also recognizes “Consent by Fraud” as “Non-Consent” or “consent under duress” which is obviously also ILLEGAL and could get those men slapped with a much deserved rape charge.
The mental conditioning methods they use DO work because “brainwashing” or behavioral conditioning works on ALL HUMANS of ANY intellect level. They are unlikely to have any recollection, knowledge, or awareness that they have been brainwashed and conditioned.
That is the EXACT SAME method of conditioning that famous Cult Groups, White Supremacy Groups, and Abusers use to “condition” their victims into behaving and reacting the way that they do to abuse and hatred.
It’s quite effective. Anyone can be hypnotized and there is no way to “fight it off” considering that I have yet to hear of a PUA who TELLS women “just so you know, I’m going to use Pavlovian Conditioning to control you and disrespect you and then hypnotize you into sex and get you to consent to sex with a person you’d otherwise have never slept with.”
Lots of things “work”. Cocaine works. Keeps you awake, gives you energy, makes you work longer and harder…..doesn’t change the fact that it will RUIN YOUR LIFE, though does it?
Rape works. Gets you laid. Does what it promises. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s a CRIME AND WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!
Gold-digging works. Tons of women have done it. Many have probably used intimidation, coercion, and fraud to do it. Does that make it okay that it “worked” ??? Does that make the men they defrauded out of money “deserving” of that abuse because they weren’t “smart enough to fight it”???
No of course not. They are just Con-Artists and last I checked, con artists are considered CRIMINALS and are prosecuted as exactly that for the crime of FRAUD.
Denise’s issues with the PUA Community have nothing to do with me personally. She and I didn’t know eachother existed until she stumbled upon my blog. She had already had her website and activism against them well underway before we had ever even spoken.
I’m glad that you criticize Mystery and Style. They are “entertainers” who are professionals in nothing at all and wrote a fictional biography that a few dumb asses were stupid enough to take seriously (sort of like the “Satanic Bible”) and treat like it IS a Bible.
Mystery is a washed up Reality Star who was already PROVEN to be a Fraud in that the men on his show “The Pick Up Artist” were paid actors PRETENDING to be nerds and the women were also paid to “react positively to it”.
He has also tried to kill himself more than once and has an extensive history of mental illness, depression, and suicide.
Style is even LESS influential because his book is a fictional story. None of the “stories” are proven to have even ONE GRAIN of truth to them and his book is NOT considered to be factual or even loosely based on fact or real life.
Basically, people who are looking to Mystery or Style (and the names alone should be proof that they are not credible sources of anything at all) for their “facts” on women, men, and dating…..
Are the same people who think that Harry Potter is a good source of information on Pagan Religions and Witchcraft.
I find it amazing that men will follow a “concept” that is based on reducing men to unevolved sex-addicts. Only capable of fucking and sleeping. Wanting no more for themselves than being some woman’s one night stand and “one night mistake” to regret for life. The men selling Game are making victims and weaklings out of men and teaching them that all that matters is pussy, getting pussy, getting women, and having women.
Might as well bow down to women and kiss their feet right now. Men’s obsession with sex is their greatest weakness because it’s something that governs their intellect and overrides their logic, reasoning, and evolved higher selves.
Women do not obsess about sex, care about sex, or even think about sex very often because we can have it anytime we please…..to me it seems obvious that men becoming MORE obsessed with sex is going to give women even MORE power (sexually) over them and hand women more and more ammunition.
The men who would actually “win” (as they say) against women are the ones who have control over their primal “id” urges and aren’t easily moved by the offer of sex, lack of sex, or acquisition of sex.
That’s a man who a woman wouldn’t quite know how to thwart.
The day a group of men starts doing THAT and women will have something real to worry about.
These PUAs are just a passing groups of sex-addicts and criminals who can’t get by in society by earning and working their way up…..so they blame someone else (women) and take the easy way (rape, fraud, and abuse) to try to have just a second of that false sense of power being a bully and a deviant gives them. Sadly that “false power” much like a drug will also lead to their destruction and loneliness.
Look at Mystery? How many suicide attempts now?
Look at “Dimitri the Lover” another PUA charged with Rape.
Look at ROISSY who is in his FORTIES and has no wife, no kids, no home, and is STILL trolling bars pathetically for women.
How can any man NOT see the pattern of “Fail. Fail. Fail.”
And yet those same men will pay $1,000 PER BOOT CAMP to learn how to ruin their own lives and stick their dick somewhere new.
Honestly, think of all the High Class Escorts and Hookers he could have effortlessly had sex with for all the money they are spending on useless seminars, camps, books, lectures, dvds, e-books, and god knows what else.
All to sleep with a few war-pigs and drunk college girls? Last I checked those women were easy prey anyhow and since we live in a modern world where there are TONS of women looking for “one night stands” I don’t really understand why any modern man would NEED Game. Women are having sex more and more casually and men have to do less and less to attain it (as opposed to Pre-Feminism) and yet there are more and more men dumpster-diving and looking to nonsense like Reality Shows and PUAs for help with women?
I really don’t understand that, but I can only assume it’s the collective laziness of modern humans in general and PUAs just happen to be one of the male facets of social laziness and entitlement.
I don’t think modern men realize that sex is not a right. There is nothing a man can do that means a woman now “owes him sex”. Being born a nice guy is not a reason to “deserve sex” even ONCE.
It’s a privilege like driving. You abuse it and you lose it. PUA’s like to believe that they have a right to sex and women and relationships without earning them honestly.
They don’t. And no woman would stay with a man who has an attitude like that for more than 12 hours. And that’s about how long the average PUA can “keep a woman”. One night.
Wow, huge accomplishment guys. Way to focus on what’s important.
PlanetGrok said
I like this comment. The reason why I let you and Denise comment is to highlight how batshit insane you both are. I’ll finish reading your diatribe later, but from what I’ve read so far it looks promising.
One Moniker said
“they look down on white people and fancy themselves too good to bother with you”….
This is typical of Desis in general.
They are very proud of their culture, and they have good reason to be. However, they come across as very conceited, which is one of the drawbacks of coming from a highly developed culture and family system.
I also think that some of their “superiority complex” is based in feelings of “inferiority”…. but that’s another topic for another day. But The Fifth Horsman betrays such an “inferiority complex” in his post about checking off “caucasian” whenever he goes to the sperm bank.
Ahhhhhh……. Desis and their obsession with convincing the whole world that they are really “white people”.
LOL
PlanetGrok said
I’m not going to cosign any of your bashing of a blogger I enjoy reading and agree with on certain key issues, but it’s funny he does that, especially if he is a really dark skinned Dravidian.
One Moniker said
LR on Mystery: He has also tried to kill himself more than once and has an extensive history of mental illness, depression, and suicide.
………………….
I think mental and emotional disorders are the missing link in this whole PUA/MRA thing.
Like I’ve said elsewhere, I have male friends who cry “nice guys finish last”. It’s not a matter of nice or mean, or good guy vs bad boy, because even if they were mean bad boys women would STILL avoid them because they’ve got mental and emotional issues as well as idiosyncrisies that make social interaction with people in general problematic for them.
But instead of admitting to that and address THAT, they cry “nice guys finish last and women don’t like me because I’m not an alpha tough guy”.
No. It’s not that. Really.
Rather, it’s your ADD, ADHD, OCD, bi-polar, depression, or over-dependence on your Mom, that turns them off.
Now, I’m not shaming people who have these issues at all. I’m just saying these also have to be taken into consideration if you find women avoiding you and it might do you well to seek out women who have the same issues. They’d be more likely to understand you, relate to you and empathize with you.
One Moniker said
I hate this format. Go back to the other one, just change the colors.
Regarding “dark skinned Dravidians”… Don’t let North Indian Desis fool you. They are JUST AS DARK as the Southies, and there are some very light skinned Southies as well.
But none of ’em are “caucasians” LOL.
PlanetGrok said
lol. You are a hard woman to please. What don’t you like about it?
One Moniker said
If your only choice is this template or the previous black one (like Lady Raine’s), go back to the black one please!
Once you go black, you should never go back!